Why Has the Music Stopped?
by majiklmoon
Summary: This is the fifth in my POV series, and if focuses on Michael, and the role Maria has played in his life.


**_Why Has the Music Stopped?_**

**Rating:**PG13

**Disclaimer:** Roswell belongs to first to Melinda Metz, then to Jason Katims and 20th Century Fox. I'm just borrowing them.

**Author's Note:** This is the fifth installment in my POV series. It focuses on Michael, and his feelings towards Maria.

I am not at all happy at the way this one turned out. It seems so scattered and disjointed. Any suggestions would be appreciated

Maria and I had what I guess you'd call a love hate relationship at first. To say we couldn't stand each other would be what you call an understatement. Honestly, I hated the whole human race, but to be specific, I hated Maria. I hated Liz, too, but they were different kinds of hate.

I hated Liz on two different levels. I hated her because she represented danger to us. If Max hadn't saved her, none of this would have happened. I also hated her because she brought Maria into my life, and Maria, well she was my Liz. I knew it from the second I saw her. I would live and die for Maria DeLuca. I just didn't like it very much.

I fought against Maria for so long. I really did. Even when I let her in, I still held part of me back. There were pieces of me she didn't get to see. She knew it, and it hurt her. I knew it hurt her, but that didn't stop me from doing it. It was wrong – I was wrong. No matter how hard I fought it, she was right there, pushing her way into my life, into my heart. I pushed her away so hard, for so long, but she just pushed back even harder, until finally, I let her in. I even tried just keeping it a strictly sexual thing, but it didn't work. One night, I needed her arms around me. I needed to feel her heart beating in rhythm with mine, letting me know I was alive. She did that for me. She let me know I was alive, and that someone cared about me. Not because they had to, like Max and Isabel, but because they wanted to.

She never knew it, but Maria filled my life with music. Not just from her singing, just from her being. See, I think people have different things to offer the world. Liz is the type of person who fills the world with light. Isabel, she brings beauty to the world. But Maria, she brought music to my world. She was like a beautiful song that filled my heart.

Selfishly, I took everything from her that she was willing to give, and I gave so little back to her. When I think about it, she didn't really ask for much. She wanted to be treated like a girlfriend. She wanted me to be like Max, but I wasn't Max, and I never will be. Eventually, Maria learned to accept that, and I, I learned nothing. My idea of a gift was shampoo, or a bumper for her car. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was who I was.

I didn't do a lot for Maria, but eventually, I realized how special she really was, and how much I needed her. Without her, my life was nothing. It took me a while, but it finally sank in. A lot of stuff happened in a very short time, and through it all, Maria was there for me, and I was actually there for her.

When Alex died, a part of Maria died with him, and I thought that our relationship would die too. After all, an alien killed him. Max refused to believe it, Isabel didn't want to believe it, but I did. I knew it was true, and the one thing that should have destroyed us, actually brought us closer together as we worked with Liz to find out the truth.

We didn't find out who killed Alex, but we did find a way home, and we decided to use it. We didn't have a choice. Tess was pregnant with Max's baby, and according to her, the baby couldn't survive on Earth. I decided then that even though I couldn't give Maria forever, I could give her the one thing she always wanted – all of me.

Our time together was bittersweet because we both knew it was the first, last and only time we would have this. I did everything right that night. I cleaned the apartment so well, even Isabel would have been satisfied. I cooked her favorite foods, I even bought Scooby Doo plates because Scooby is her all time favorite cartoon.

That night, I let Maria into my heart and my soul for all eternity. I finally accepted then that there wouldn't be anybody else for me but her. Maybe it's some freaky alien thing, I don't know. Maybe we're like baby geese when they hatch. Baby geese will bond with the first thing they see, and think it's their mother. Maybe aliens are like that. The first time we fall in love, it's forever. If you base it strictly on Max and Liz, it's true.

Maria and I said our goodbyes that night. I hurt like I'd never hurt before. All the loneliness, the pain of Hank's beatings were nothing compared to the pain I felt when I said goodbye to Maria. I realized how stupid I was, but it was almost too late. I decided to stay. I found my home and it was with Maria. Little did I know, that was the beginning of the end.

You would have thought that my staying would have made everything perfect between Maria and I. I know I thought it would. But it was the beginning of the end. No matter what I did, or what I said, it was wrong in her eyes. Maybe it was wrong. We don't get an impartial observer rank our every action and tell us where it is on the fair-o-meter.

All I know is that when push came to shove, Maria chose herself, and her dreams over me. I'm not saying that was wrong, I just know when I as faced with the same decision, I made a different choice. I just find it ironic that she says there's no more music in her life when to me she is my music. But she's gone now, and my music has stopped.


End file.
